when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
