Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
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Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
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I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
Floor bacon is actually really good
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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