Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
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