We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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