Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Randomize
