I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
