last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
I love you. Go after that dick
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
