Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
