Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
