I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Randomize
