Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
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