Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
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