Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
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