The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Randomize
