It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
