Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Randomize
