After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
