Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Randomize
