I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
