At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
Randomize
