drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Randomize
