Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
im six kinds of drunk right now
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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