she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
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Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
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whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
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