glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize