Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
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