i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
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