I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Randomize
