Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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