We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.