When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.