North Korea, Best Korea!
well you can't waste a boner
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
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after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
These 17 Delivery Dudes Suck At Their Jobs But Are Winning At Life
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.