your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.