I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
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I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
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Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.