On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
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