If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
