I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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