when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
Randomize
