Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Randomize
