I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
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