Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
