I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
