the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
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