Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
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