fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize