he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
