so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Randomize
