can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
That's when you crack a 10am beer
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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