Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Only a mothe r could love this liver
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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