Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
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