that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
