I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Randomize
