closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
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He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
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I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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