By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
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I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
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