lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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