I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Randomize
