I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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