More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Randomize
