dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
