so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
He had one of those small greek statue penises
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Randomize
