I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
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