do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
