I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Randomize
